2016年9月25日星期日

台灣。記錄

9月25日,抵台第五天。

開始適應台灣的氣候、環境、食物。
再也不會被早上六點的太陽騙起床!是有了枕頭的關係嗎?睡得特別的好呢~
和對面房的新加坡室友逛了逛學校,吃了個午餐,去了本該去的愛買,開始了錄影計劃,買了西班牙語的書,一切看起來也蠻順利的。

途中感受到低氣壓... 想起心理學老師說過的 Ideal self  > Real self = Anxiety 一事。
好久沒蹦出來的人兒,以為深藏起來了,原來還只是以為啊.. 該存在的還是會存在吧!
雖然日後想起這段小插曲,會覺得沒什麼大不了的,至少此時此刻想把它記錄下來吧!

The little one inside is shouting, kicking and screaming, No ! Please don't. You can't please everyone. So please, be yourself. Be the comfortable self and let go of those unwanted.
Right here, right now, you will never know how much I wish you are beside me so I can cuddle with you.
Once, you make a wrong choice then it will be harder for you to fix it.
I'm back here, but are you still waiting at the spot that I left ?
I feel guilty for not knowing what i need.
I feel guilty for hurting someone that's kind.
I feel guilty for wanting you back.
I feel guilty for everything I've done to you.
But there's nothing I can do to fix it.
I hid the sad one behind the happy one, so you will never know.
I hid the missing pieces of me behind the "complete" me, so you will never notice.
Will it be too much and too heavy for me to handle it myself ?
Breakdown is the only thing I can do, I guess.
I wish, I will never reach that moment.

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又哭了

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